I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not…actually I know it’s not but I seem to be finding it easy to put masks on right now. The ‘I’m okay, even though I’m not’ mask. I just really don’t wanna talk about it and I don’t want people asking about what I’m going through or dealing with. The people that are closest to me already know and I can be real around them, but it’s other people. I don’t open up to those I’m not close with, so why would I want to talk to them about what’s going on in my life. Yes, I’m dealing with really hard stuff inside of me. On the outside I may act fine but the inside of me is just all over the place. I have so many emotions going on inside of me. It’s amazing how easily a mood can change in the matter of a day or even a half hour.
I try and make sense of it, but you know. I’ve accepted the fact that life isn’t always going great and things will come up and hit you broadside without a moment’s notice. The question is, how do you deal with all of these burdens in a healthy way? Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” As of now, the Lord is really carrying me. I don’t have the strength to get through this without Him. I was barely walking in the first place and I surrender myself into His arms right now because I am just not strong enough.
There’s a song by Scott Wesley Brown called “He Will Carry You” and it has really spoken to me during this time of struggle and heartache.
"There is no problem too big God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it.
There is no storm too dark God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep, God cannot soothe it.
(Chorus)
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders.
I know , my brother, that He will carry you.
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders.
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.
(Bridge)
Thank you God for always carrying me when I can no longer walk on my own.
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