The Struggle With Silence

Are you like me? I hate the silence, the silence makes me nervous and unsettled, it drives me crazy. That is just silence in general, the worst and agonizing silence is when GOD chooses to be silent. Ugh. It's never fun for me. But one thing I have learned is that even in the silence the Lord speaks volumes.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." ~ Psalm 37:7

That is a humdinger for me. First it says to be still and then wait patiently. For those who know me well know that I come to a point where patience is not a virtue anymore it is downright gone out of the ballpark. But I know I am not the only one who struggles in silence so I thought to go deeper into my Word and find others who also struggled with God's silence.

I came across a man by the name of Elijah. Elijah was a man of God and followed earnestly after Him, but he came down to his own boiling point. In 1 Kings chapter 19 we find his story. Elijah was crying out to God in frustration and was complaining about how his life was going and how he was being treated not by God but others. The Lord answered in an amazing way, a way Elijah was not ready for.

"The Lord said 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a still small voice." 1 Kings 19:11-12

Elijah had it all wrong. He thought the Lord was silent but He wasn't. As believers we will go down roads where God seems silent. But what looks like inactivity or silence, the Lord is giving us a chance and opportunity to hear and listen to that 'still small voice'. To look pass the silence and see the blessings and provisions that He has already bestowed upon us. God is always there.

"He will never leave us or forsake us." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor my ways your ways."

God's silence does not mean something horrible is about to happen. If you are listening and finally you hear the 'still small voice' you will see it is blessing that is coming. So don't fear His silence. God does not speak to us today like he did when he sent Jesus on this earth or the ways he did in the Old Testament. There is no fire or wind, signs or great wonders. Instead he sent us his helper, the Holy Spirit to speak to us through the Word and in that word we find words of life.

Dr. Charles Stanley said:

 "Through times of silence God impresses on us the truth about sin, develops our trust in Him and guides us to maturity. When the Father seems distant, faithfully seek him and watch for his provision."

Remember, don't fear the silence. If you are going through this agonizing silence right now, remember that you need to eagerly seek Him and from the silence will come the Holy Spirit and there you will find your answers. Trust Him, and earnestly listen to hear the 'still small voice' of the Lord. You will be blessed by it. This has been a lesson to myself as well. I need to redirect my thoughts and somehow find peace instead of anxiety in the silence.

Faith: Believing is Seeing

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." 
- Hebrews 11:1

Faith is a tricky thing. One thing I have learned is Faith isn't easy. Faith has been a reoccurring theme in my life from my late teen years to my late 20's were I am now. You would think after everything I have been through having faith would be like second nature to me. Which is my point on how tricky and difficult it is for anyone. 

When I graduated college seven months ago I thought that my entire life was about to open up and become something I never thought possible. That hasn't really been the case. I have struggled since then trying to find myself and find where God wants me to be. It's been hard to even see what is going on and where this road is going to take me. It has been real discouraging, especially seeing people I graduated with finding their stride and getting things done.  The whole time I'm thinking, 'what am I doing wrong?'. 

It wasn't until recently that I realized, I'm not doing any wrong, I am exactly where God sees me and wants me to be. Yes, it may not be my ideal circumstance, but in these last six or seven months God has provided for me every step of the way. Even when I couldn't see it, He was and is continuing to do so. One of my favorite movie series is Indiana Jones. Classic right? One of my favorite moments in all of the movies is in "Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade". Indy is met with a task of finding the sought after 'Holy Grail' that he can fill with healing water to save his father's life who was shot by the Nazi's who were also in search of it.

He was met with three different obstacles he had to go through. First obstacle, The Breath of God, requires a 'penitent man' to pass where he kneels before God before he gets sliced up by circular blades.  For the second challenge, The Word of God, Indy realizes that he must spell the name of God in order to proceed, taking a misstep he started spelling Jehovah with a J instead of the traditional way of starting it with and I. Now to best part, the Third obstacle. The Path of God. This involves a narrow tunnel that leads out to a ledge overlooking a chasm, with no apparent way to cross over. The riddle tells Indy that he must make a 'leap of faith' so he slowly, and with great trepidation, steps out into the void. To his astonishment his foot lands on something solid, yet he appears to be standing in midair.

And there in lies the amazing task of believing without seeing what is before you.  Indy had no idea that this would be his result, the bigger task was BELIEVING. Faith is all about believing what you can't see. I have no idea what is next for me, I am given the task of believing that God will always lead me down the right path at the right time. It's difficult, yet I couldn't imagine living my life any other way. Yeah it's crazy right? There are times of doubt, anguish, confusion, and down right frustration. 

In the end, faith has become something more to me than I ever thought possible. It has become the theme of my life and I am thankful that God has taken the time to teach me what it is like to truly have faith. Not just in Him, but faith in my relationships with people He has put in my life, faith in where He has me in life and faith for what is to come. He wouldn't take so much time and effort to teach me a staple like Faith if He didn't have use for it somehow. 

So here I stand, in the unknown. But one thing is for certain, I believe life will happen for me when it is supposed to and I know I am right where I need to be right now, and that is a great feeling.

The Humanity of Jesus Part II

"Fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God's house. Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as a builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything." {Hebrews 3:1b-4} 

I love this scripture because again it shows just like us, Jesus was faithful to what he had been called to do. We try daily to be faithful to what Christ has called us to do. Love each other, show forgiveness, make disciples etc. Jesus knows what it's like to struggle and be uncertain of what he was called to do.

In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus pleaded with God to take the burden away from Him and not have to do what he knew God asked him to do. His flesh and humanity were battling against his spirit and what He knew was right. In the end his struggle came to reality as he said, "Not my will, but your will be done." {“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.' An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:42-44}

Have you ever felt this way? Feeling so full of doubt and anguish that you hit your knees and cry out to God for help or for some sort of sign? Yeah, I've been there. We all have. But what I love most about this scripture is the words, 'An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him'. I had an experience much like this, where I had hit rock bottom and I was in my room on my knees literally crying out to God. Out of nowhere I felt this presence come over me and I felt a warm feeling surge through my body. As I sat there feeling this, I could feel the presence of God in my room and not all seemed lost anymore. I was 17 years old when this happened and I remember it like it was yesterday. 

No matter how tough you feel the calling on your life is, rest assured that Christ knows exactly how you feel, and because of that He's not going to leave you high and dry. He will be with you every step of the way. He is always there, rooting us, helping us, carrying us along because he knows first hand the journey is rough. You may want to give up, you may want to throw in the towel. When it gets to that point, hit your knees and cry out to God. He will help, He will be there. He will strengthen you. We are His chosen people, His children. He won't leave us. He's there, just cry out or call out to Him. He will answer.

The Humanity of Jesus

"But we see Jesus who was made a litter lower than the angel, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone." - Hebrews 2:9

In this chapter we get a glimpse of what God had in mind when he sent Jesus to earth. It wouldn't have been as effective if he came to earth suddenly as a grown man who was fully God, and fully man. Instead God sent Jesus as an innocent baby, just like how all of us have started. He lived a normal life with a Mom and a Dad. 

It wasn't until he was 30 years old that he began the rest of his journey. From 30-33 he experienced life and life in ministry. His ministry journey started off getting baptized by John the Baptist. Who felt unworthy to baptize the Messiah that John knew was coming. But he baptized Jesus anyway. His next step, was going off into the desert soon being tempted by the cunning one, the Devil. 

Throughout his ministry he went on to do miraculous things. His disciples also brought a typical dynamic of humanly tendencies. Jealousy, greed, etc. This I'm sure brought Jesus frustration and grief. Jesus encountered obstacles, people trying to trick him into blasphemy. He also knows what it is like to need time to himself just Him and the Lord. Ultimately Jesus knows what it is like to suffer severely. He suffered death, an excruciating death, which most of us will never have to go through. Now why am I pointing all this out? 

To show that Jesus was just like us. He was human. Fully God, but fully Man. God sent Jesus this way so we can take Him at his "Word" (The Bible) and believe Him when he says, "Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6) Why? Jesus had to do the same thing. Life is hard, unknown and frustrating. We suffer in our own personal ways. 

For me lately it's been not getting a job I was passionate about and felt perfect for. I thought I would get it, but I didn't. It's been such a let down and it's been real agonizing not knowing what is next for me and where my life is going. But when Christ tells me to trust Him, and have faith (Faith is defined as: "complete trust or confidence in someone or something") I know I can because if Christ can do it, I can as well. I know I will never understand the pain and suffering Christ went through, but I, like everyone else suffer in my own way. 

This time of confusion and pain is a refining time for me. Christ is using it to continue my growth and relationship with Him. I just have to continue moving forward and trusting God. Easier said than done sometimes, but ultimately worth it. Don't lose hope, keep going. Answers will come at just the right time. Keep your focus and stay strong through the refining fire.