As Seasons Change

I never realized how therapeutic the sound of rain could be. Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. The vibrancy of colors take my breath away every single time. The sound of the wind and rain falling against the ground and the trees is like soothing music to my soul. I can’t help but be transported to another world of wonder and amazement. All I can think about on nights like this is curling up by the fireplace in sweatpants and a blanket, with a cup of hot cocoa with a good book or a journal with blank pages.

I don’t have a fireplace, but I do have an opportunity to allow my mind to rest. My mind suddenly stops and fades away from all the stress, worry and anxiety for however long I feel like, as the music of the beautiful nature that God created takes me away. It’s a time when my mind comes alive and allows me to just be by myself and reflect, and recollect myself. When the seasons change it has the ability to excite me and make me be full of wonder. Here when I’m at school I’m able to enjoy fall, and the changing of seasons. But when I go home for Christmas I am transported into a winter wonderland, like I just walked through the wardrobe into Narnia. What magic this season beholds for me, ever year. This year may be the hardest holiday season I’ve had to go through without Grandma here. Her and Grandpa were Christmas.

Every memory I have, has them in it. The magic of Christmas, giving, love and sacrifice was practiced and shown to us by my Grandparents. My Grandpa was Santa Clause for my entire life. The Holidays for my family were just complete magic and wonder. I will miss those years of awe and wonder as a kid getting exactly what I told Santa “Grandpa and Grandma”.But in that I choose to find joy in this season. Remember the good times and cherish them with all that I have. But it’s time to make new memories, and begin to cherish those. The old memories will never fade, but new ones are just as exciting and wonderful. I’m definitely enjoying this rainy, cold, fall night and look forward to more nights like this in this season.  

AHHHHHH!!!!

You know when life seems to come at you and come at you and you feel like you can't catch a break, and you just want to scream at the top of your lungs? Well that's how I'm feeling these days. I feel like I'm slowly drowning and there are moments where I am able to catch a breath but not soon after I catch a breath I'm pushed back down under water. I feel like I'm Peter, who Jesus calls out to walk on the water. And in that story as long as Peter has his eyes set on Jesus he's able to walk without fail on water. But once he takes his eyes off of Christ he starts to sink. 

Well my story right now isn't exactly like that. I do have my eyes on the Lord, I'm striving to live for Him to the best of my ability but I just feel like I'm trying so hard to survive that I'm failing miserably. There are friends that I can go too and just hang out with, have coffee with that help pull me above water to where I can feel like I can breathe. But sadly there are others who just yank me back down into the water to where I'm struggling to survive. 

I don't understand why life has to be this way, but I know one thing is for sure. GOD IS FAITHFUL. GOD IS HERE. GOD IS BESIDE ME. GOD IS CARRYING ME! In my journaling yesterday, even after reading the Word I just couldn't conjure up to identify with any of the scriptures. So I ended up just writing out a prayer. This was a prayer of supplication. Just asking God to be with me, to help me through, to give me a reprieve, and even to carry me through cause I feel so weak right now. I feel like there is so much pressure on me because my schedule is so packed. I barely have time for myself, let alone to have demands from people to spend time with them. I'm only one person, I mean. You see me struggling, what else do you want from me? 


God just give me the strength to get through. I know you will. 

Filled With Joy

As the leafs begin to change I can’t help but think about how life is changing for me and even those closest to me. A new season of happiness and life in general. It’s always so exciting. Helping my best friend plan her wedding has given me a lot of joy, just seeing her beam with happiness has been the special treat. I feel like life in still in a big transition and I’m so excited for it.

One thing that I know will be a part of my transition is being in a place of leadership here at the school. I ran for student council and won a spot. I was super excited and I am super excited to serve this school and the students. New Hope has done so much for me these past three years and I am excited to be able to give back in any way I can. It’s gonna be crazy but amazing. God is just reminding me constantly of how blessed I am with all the things He has given me. I have a tendency to focus more on what I don’t have instead of the blessings that make my life as happy as it is right now.

In my time with the Lord this morning I read Psalm 126 and verse 3 really stuck out to me. It says “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” It really hit me hard that I need to focus on the things that God has given me now, and just be content and thankful for all of it. And when I am truly, He will bestow more blessings in my life. I can’t wait for that. So I am just full of joy after I realize what I have, and I am a super lucky lady! That’s for sure!