Give Me Faith

So things have been really crazy these past couple weeks. My income was completely taken away from me because the work-study guidelines changed and I no longer receive checks every other week (which is what I was living off of) but they just transfer that money into my account and I basically work it off during the year. It’s really frustrating and I really am upset about it. On top of that my parents’ income was completely stopped in August, and somehow in some string of unfortunate events they are not receiving any more pay. They have exhausted all they can and still don’t have enough to pay rent this month so they are trying to figure out what to do.

In all this, my 25^th birthday was on Monday the 20^th and up until the day the before I was having so much trouble finding excitement and some sort of looking forward to it. Then as I saw my amazing friends start finalizing the plans and being really secretive the excitement started to stir. I decided that I wasn’t going to let life’s situations take away the joy of my birthday and turning 25. The day of my birthday God reminded me how blessed I was and how much I have and made me not think so much about what I don’t have.

My friends ended up blindfolding me, and putting me in a car, making me believe we were going somewhere, but they ended up decorating one of the classrooms to look like a little restaurant. They had made dinner, and set up a beautifully set table and we all ate and had dinner together. I was super surprised, I had no idea whatsoever. It was so amazing and I was so blessed. Then me and my girls went out for a couple drinks and just had a good time. It was one of the most memorable birthdays I’ve had.

So in that, I am really trying to trust God and have faith that He will take care of me and carry me through this time of uncertainty and not having any control over what’s going on. My Mom always says “When things get rough, remember that somewhere there is someone else that is going through something worse.” Which is true. I have a dear friend who just lost his wife and is traveling over the Pacific Northwest scattering her ashes, cause it’s what she wanted. She had recorded a children’s book with her voice on it and while he was in Seattle some heartless people broke into his SUV and stole his laptop, ipod and the bag containing this book. He is devastated and isn’t leaving Seattle until he gets the book back.

When I saw this my heart ached and I got so angry. Righteously angry. He’s been through so much already, and now this. How could someone do that, it just breaks my heart. So in that I realize that in this hard time of uncertainty and not knowing how I’m going to get by God will take care of me, and I will hold tight to Him to get me through. There is a song sung by Elevation Worship called “Give Me Faith” and it’s a song that’s helping me stay in perspective.

Verse:

I need you to soften my heart

To break me apart

I need you to open my eyes

To see that You're shaping my life

Pre-Chorus:

All I am,

I surrender

Chorus:

Give me faith to trust what you say

That you're good and your love is great

I'm broken inside, I give you my life

Verse 2:

I need you to soften my heart

To break me apart

I need you pierce through the dark

And cleanse every part of me

Chorus

Bridge:

I may be weak

Your spirit strong in me

My flesh may fail

My God you never will (repeat)